OVERWATCH: VOLUME ONE (2D Collection) – Howtoshtab – how to, lifehacks, tips and tricks

PART 1: WIDOWMAKER HATES TRACER Incy Wincy Spider took the Soldier out! Out came his brain and the blood came pourin’ out! Why do I have to be teamed up with this imbecile? Oh cheer up, misery guts.You gotta laugh! I do not laugh, Tracer. Well Widowmaker., that’s about to change. Watch this! Now that’s what I call “Gorilla Warfare!” See? It’s a funny quip! HA HA HA Nothing? All right, let me try that again. Yes, you could say his head became a banana split. Tough crowd.

What do you get when you cross Winston with me guns? A ba-boom! Beauty killed the Beast? Guns out for Hara-(nope. We can’t say that, even in captions.) Fine! Time to switch it up! I headshot the sheriff! Rust in peace! Gunshots and chill! Looks like a shot myself in the face! Oh, come on! Nothing?!? Who died?!? Ohhhhh Guess I missed my widow of opportunity? No wait, I could do better. Looks like you met your maker! Nope. Need to die like a hole in the head! You’re supposed to split your sides, not your brains! Nailed it. (honestly one of the weirdest captions i’ve ever done.) PART 2: THE TRIAL OF MEI *BANG x3* Order! Order! Prosecution will now state their case. Ladies… Gentlemen… …omnics… I am here to bring the most vile and terrifying Beast to justice. Her. Hi! Hi! Hello! Don’t say “hi” to her! This girl is an evil ice queen! Says the guy with a skull face. It’s true.

He does have a skull for a face. Look at this! *maniac* See? I do see! Mei! Where did you get those boots? They’re adorable? Thank you Please! She might act all innocent. She’s innocent? Well, case closed! NO! She might ACT Innocent, But I assure you under the cutesy exterior lies a ruthless savage that will slay us all! Oh, you think I’m cute? Shut up! Aw… Reaper loves Mei! Reaper loves Mei! Reaper loves Mei! SILENCE! Call exhibit A. Mais weapon is OP. I thought you said it was Exhibit A. I mean, it’s overpowered. It creates ice walls that are effectively immune to damage. So, she’s able to recover health unfairly. Observe. You there! Shoot- *HEADSHOT.* ARGH! Heroes never die! I meant, AFTER I put up the ice wall. Okay, now shoot- *HEADSHOT.* ARGH! Forget it! Your Honor, a weapon this powerful throws everything out of balance and shouldn’t exist in our world.

So I call for Mei to be banned forever! Mei, I have but one question… Is that a snowflake keychain dangling off of it? That’s so cute! Guilty as charged! You’re free to go! *BANG* You are ALL imbeciles. You won’t get away with- *HEADSHOT* ARGH! PART 3: OMNILEAKS A surprise party? Where’s the cake or is this a different kind of party? Silence, Sombra! I designed those constraints and you’re not leaving until I say so! Now admit what you did! I have done a lot of bad things today, and it’s not even lunchtime yet. So you’re gonna have to be more specific. (BOOP) You’re the one who leaked all our embarrassing secrets! You’re the one who leaked all our embarrassing secrets! The Omni-leaks! The Omni-Leaks? THE OMNI-LEAKS!!! You keep saying it like I know what that is. The Omni-leaks, like how everyone knows Mercy only helped Genji, because she has a huge crush on him. I…wha…hey! That’s why she gave him a killer butt! My butt is a killer? What did you do? Shut up, Lucio.

You’re the one who has been recording people by his music without their permission. Shh. No, I don’t! *the killer butt remix returns!* Can I go now? Not until you confess. So, do you have an embarrassing secret, too? Huh? Of course not. Reaper’s afraid of air conditioning! What?!? No I’m not! Yeah, he is! He’s scared if he turns into mist he’ll get sucked away like some kind of angry genie. No wait, I could do better. Like a ghost! In one of those Ghostbuster traps! And…let me try again. Like a fart in a vacuum cleaner! Eh, forget it. Well, Tracer apparently abuses her chronal-accelerator to get out of arguments with her girlfriend! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Hey, look! An air conditioner. Where? Ha! Perhaps if I commit seppuku to my butt… I can restore honor. Tracer, you shouldn’t be using your abilities so selfishly.

Oh, yeah? Well you’re the one growing secret, illegal, genetically modified bananas! It’s, uh, a science experiment! Sounds like lunch. You’re not gonna eat us, are you papa? No, no, no, just get back in the sandwich with the rest. Okay, I love you, Papa. CURSE YOU, TREACHEROUS BUTT!!! Well, this was a waste of time. At least I don’t waste all my time going to Disneyland, with my Disney Passport! So what? I am just big fan. Oh, look out, Reaper! It’s a big fan! You scared of those, too? Yes. I wish this was all my fault, because this is so funny! Forget this. Let her go. Fine. Winston what’s the password for this thing? Oh, it’s “Password”. What?!? Pass-word. The same I use on every electronic device and computer I own. So anyone could have just logged onto your computer and leaked our secrets? Well, not without the password.

I’m gonna kill him Sombra has trapped us in the room. Oh, no! We’re trapped! With my killer butt! Somebody open the door! It’s locked! Have you tried “password”? Can I tell him now? I’d really like to kill him. *SCREAMING* (panic.exe has been activated. If this is the first time you’re reading this, panic for 15 hours straight, then destroy your computer.) *laughing* PART 4: SOLDIER 76 SUCKS Come on, focus. You can do this. Breathe. I didn’t start this war, but I’m damn well gonna finish it! Hello? HQ, wakey wakey! Soldier 76. I’ve got you in my sights. Oh, hi Jack. Wasn’t D.va supposed to be on the comms? EAT MY ZERG RUSH, BITCHES!!! She’s upstairs, playing those games of hers, so I’m all suited up and ready to roll instead. ARGH! MY LEG! We’ve got a big door between us and the mission payload. So I’m gonna need one of those sweet override codes real Sharp-ish! Jack. Coming right up! Alright, let’s see here.

It’s here somewhere Jack, we really need- Standby Lena. I’m turning your volume up. Thanks, I- We’ve lost audio. Standby! Is my butt still a killer? *dramatic music* Look at it and tell me the truth! Yeah, sure it’s still a killer, but not that I would know. I mean, how could I? I mean, how could I? (ARGH!) It’s not like I’m an expert on guys butts or anything like that. Ha ha ha ha… Bollocks, we’ve lost HQ! Comms must be scuppered. Check Omni-book. How to turn friends on. How to get friends turned on now. Sexyzeit mit Soldat 69! Are you well, Jack? Why friends silent. The fool thinks he’s on Google! LMAO, HA HA HA That’s uncalled for. >:( @Widowmaker @Sombra Classic! Pandejo! LOL This will fix everything Jack… trust me.

.. Thanks, Sombra. You’re so good with this gigabot stuff. *alarm* Enough! Soldier 76! Step away from the console! Brother bananas beard. What are you done? I Was tagging those Lucioball picnic photos while I waited for that download to install. Download? You know that was such a lovely afternoon. Even Hana got some sunshine. *8-bit music* And all it takes is two fellas grunting in a tent and suddenly no one takes cowboy seriously anymore. Jesse. Did you hear that? *boom* Woohoo!.

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