The Real Housewives of New Jersey – Third Eye Blind – Howtoshtab – how to, lifehacks, tips and tricks

– PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY… – LAUREN HAS AN ISSUE WITH HER WEIGHT. I ALMOST WISH IT WAS ONE OF MY SONS. – GIA SEES STUFF WRITTEN ABOUT YOU. – I’M GOING AWAY FOR TEN YEARS. – SUPPOSEDLY, HE DID GO INTO DMV WITH HIS BROTHER’S INFORMATION, AND HE TRIED TO GET A LICENSE. – MY SISTER PUTS OUT AN ARTICLE THAT IF JOE GIUDICE WENT TO JAIL, I WOULDN’T BE THERE. IT’S TERRIBLE. – I HEARD RUMORS. – I HEAR RUMORS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND.

DO I CALL YOU OUT ON IT? YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAYS TO ME? “IF A RICHER GUY CAME ALONG, YOUR WIFE WOULD LEAVE YOU.” – THE GOLD DIGGER COMMENT’S GOT TO BE BOTHERING HER. IT’S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THAT STORM HITS. – HEY, RICHIE, RICHIE! – WHAT IS THAT YELLING GOING ON DOWN THERE? – DID YOU EVER SEE ME WITH A BLACK GUY? – NEVER. AND BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID GEEK, I HAD TO SEE SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE. – [sobbing] IS SHE GONNA LOOK BACK AND, LIKE, HATE HER CHILDHOOD? – LIFE IS SHORT. I HAVE NO TIME FOR DRAMA. – I NEVER THROW THE FIRST PUNCH, BUT I’M ALWAYS A KNOCKOUT. – WHEN TIMES GET TOUGH, YOU LEARN WHO YOUR REAL FRIENDS ARE. – I AM A VEGAS GIRL. I WILL CALL YOUR BLUFF. – WE’RE OLD-SCHOOL. WE BELIEVE IN RESPECT. – IS IT GONNA BE WEIRD SEEING RICHIE, AFTER THE OTHER NIGHT? – I WOULD HAVE RATHER NOT EVER SAW THAT MOTHER EFFER.

– HON, JACQUELINE AND CHRIS ARE ON THEIR WAY, SO WE HAVE TO GET READY. – OH, I’LL BE READY IN FIVE MINUTES. – OH, YOU WANT TO KNOCK? – JUST GO. DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, COME ON. – KNOCK, KNOCK. CHRIS IS JUST INVITING US IN. – COME ON, WE’RE FAMILY. WE’RE ALLOWED TO WALK IN. – [baby talk] JACKIE. – JACQUELINE’S HERE. – HOW ARE YOU? YOU’RE, LIKE, ALL SEXY. YOU’RE LIKE HOT. – THANK YOU. – OH, THERE HE IS. – [laughs] – WANT TO DO MY EYES? – SURE. – LOOK AT THE BOAT. IT’S AMAZING. – OH, MY GOD. – LET’S TAKE, LIKE, A NICE RIDE, POP OPEN A [bleep] BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE, SPRAY IT ALL OVER RICHIE, WATCH HIM CRY LIKE A BITCH. – RICHIE NEVER KNOWS WHEN TO STOP. AND BECAUSE OF THAT GEEK, MY HUSBAND’S EYE COULD HAVE BEEN POKED OUT. SHE’S COMING.

GO GET DRESSED. – WHERE IS EVERYBODY? – THEY’RE ON THEIR WAY. SO ANYWAY, UM, THERE WAS AN ARTICLE THAT A MAGAZINE INTERVIEWED US FOR. REMEMBER MY HUSBAND WENT AWAY FOR THAT WEEK? – WHAT DID THE ARTICLE SAY? – THEY ASKED, “HAS YOUR BROTHER BEEN THERE FOR YOU?” AND MY HUSBAND ANSWERED IT. HE SAID, “NO. HE HASN’T BEEN THERE FOR HIS SISTER.” – ARE THOSE ARTICLES STRESSING YOU OUT? – DEFINITELY. – SHE’S AGREEING TO DO THESE ARTICLES, ‘CAUSE SHE’S POSING FOR THEM. BUT YET SHE’S MAKING SOMETHING PUBLIC THAT SHE’S NEVER EVEN DISCUSSED WITH HER BEST FRIEND. IS SHE PROFITING FROM PEOPLE’S PITY, OR SHE REALLY FEELS THAT WAY? I DON’T KNOW. – SO THEN MY BROTHER CAME UP TO ME, TO SAY TO ME, “LISTEN, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, “I DON’T LIKE THAT YOUR HUSBAND SAID THAT. BUT IT’S THE TRUTH.

” – RIGHT. – BUT HE SAID, “FROM NOW ON”– HE SAID, “I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I’LL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU.” – AW. SO HE FELT BAD ABOUT IT, THAT HE WASN’T. – I-I GUESS. BUT– THIS IS MY BUT, MY BIG BUT– I CAN’T BELIEVE HE EVEN BROUGHT THIS UP. BUT I SAID SOMETHING ABOUT HIS WIFE, ‘CAUSE I HEAR RUMORS. SO I SAID TO MY BROTHER– LOOKING OUT FOR HIM– I SAID, “YOU BETTER WATCH HER. BECAUSE, LIKE, IF A GUY COMES ALONG WITH MORE MONEY, SHE MIGHT LEAVE YOU. – LIKE, DID YOU HAVE A GOOD REASON TO BELIEVE THAT SHE WAS DOING THAT? LIKE, IS THAT WHY YOU BROUGHT IT UP? – SHE RUBS ME LIKE THAT TYPE OF GIRL. – HI. – HI. – HELLO. – HI, HONEY.

– TERESA’S TOLD ME THAT HER BROTHER IS INSECURE. KNOWING THAT HER BROTHER’S INSECURE, SHE PROBABLY SHOULDN’T HAVE PLANTED THAT SEED IN HIS HEAD ABOUT HIS WIFE. – WHERE’S JACQUELINE AND TERESA? – HI. – HI, GUYS. HOW ARE YOU? – HOW ARE YOU? – NICE TO SEE YOU. – HEY, MELISSA. – WHAT’S GOING ON? LONG TIME NO SEE. – YEAH. – WHAT’S GOING ON? – NOTHING. MAKING MY SHAKE FOR THE MORNING. – WHY IS THERE SO MUCH WATER? IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE IN THERE? – YEAH, I PUT WATER IN IT SO I CAN MIX THE–THE CHOCOLATE. – SO YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT THINGS NOW? – I FEEL BETTER ABOUT THINGS. – THE FIRST DAY WAS NOT A GOOD ONE. – THE FIRST DAY, I CRIED THE ENTIRE DAY. AND I FELT A LITTLE ANOREXIC. – YOU WERE ALLOWED THAT ONE DAY TO FEEL A LITTLE BIT SORRY FOR YOURSELF. – A LITTLE BIT. WHO DID YOUR HAIR TODAY? – THE DIET’S A CHALLENGE FOR LAUREN. AND…HER MOOD IS WICKED. SHE’S WICKED.

[stirring ice in glass] – I ALREADY LOST FIVE POUNDS. AND I WENT SHOPPING AND I FIT INTO TWO SIZE 8s. – YOU’VE COME A LONG WAY, LAUREN MANZO. – YEAH, I KNOW. – YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOURSELF. – WHEN I LOSE ALL THIS WEIGHT, I WANNA BE VERY RICH. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE A LOT OF MONEY AND KNOW THAT I’M SUCCESSFUL IN BUSINESS, BECAUSE WITH BLK, THE BOYS ARE GONNA BE VERY SUCCESSFUL. AND I WANT TO BE RICH. – ALL RIGHT, WELL, THAT’S UP TO YOU. – I DO FEEL PRESSURE TO BE SUCCESSFUL. AND I KIND OF PUT IT ON MY PARENTS. IT’S LIKE AT ONE POINT, LIKE, “I’M SORRY, I’M NOT LIKE YOUR PRECIOUS SONS.” IT’S ALWAYS ALBIE AND CHRIS, ALBIE AND CHRIS. AND I FEEL LIKE MAYBE IF I WERE SKINNY, THEN IT WOULD BE LAUREN TOO. – IF YOU SAY YOU WANT TO BE RICH, WELL, THEN YOU MAKE YOURSELF RICH. WORK HARD. – GOT IT.

– IT’S HARD BEING HER BROTHERS’ SISTER. ALBIE AND CHRIS ARE HANDSOME, GOT IT ALL GOING ON. AND, FOR SOME REASON, SHE THINKS SHE’S NOT WORTHY. WHAT SHE DOESN’T KNOW IS SHE HAS A SPECTACULAR PERSONALITY. SHE’S GOT A GREAT BOYFRIEND. AND SHE’S GOT A BELLY. SO WHAT? – I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE A LOT OF MONEY. – YOU GOT THE BRAINS, YOU GOT THE TALENT. IT’S UP TO YOU. – OKAY. – DON’T LOOK SO ENTHUSED. – ALL RIGHT, COME ON, EVERYBODY. GOT TO GET ON THE BOAT, MAN. – MY MOM AND MY SISTER ARE GONNA CHILL WITH THE KIDS. – HAVE FUN. – THANK YOU. – HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN ON A SPEEDBOAT? – BYE, MOM. BYE, DAD. – WELL, I HAVE. – I AM A LITTLE CONCERNED, BECAUSE TERESA LIVES RIGHT ON THE WATER. AND THERE’S A LOT OF KIDS… AND WATER. – COME ON, DON’T GO– GO ON THAT SIDE.

GO ON THE OTHER END. – LISTEN, GIVE ‘EM ALL A LITTLE BIT OF WINE, THEN THEY’LL CONK OUT. I’M SAYING JUST A LITTLE SIP AND [snores]. – MILANIA, SEE YOU LATER. – HOW ARE YOU DOING? WHAT’S GOING ON? – I’M NOT. – NO. – RECENTLY JOE GIUDICE WAS ARRESTED, AND HE WAS ACCUSED OF SEEKING A FRAUDULENT DRIVER’S LICENSE. TERESA’S TALKING TO THE PRESS ABOUT IT, BUT SHE’S NOT SHARING IT WITH HER FAMILY. TERESA, THE PRESS ISN’T REALLY GOING TO HELP YOU, IF JOE HAS TO SERVE TIME. – ALL RIGHT, CHEERS, EVERYBODY. – SALUT, SALUT. – IT’S A BEAUTIFUL BOAT. CAN WE GET ONE? – YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS BOAT IS? – HOW MUCH? – GRAB YOUR BIKES, GRAB YOUR SCOOTERS, AND LET’S HEAD OUT FRONT! – COME ON, LET’S GO. – THEY’RE ALLOWED, MA. – AUDRIANA, COME HERE. – OH, MY GOD, THERE’S A KID IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I DON’T LIKE THIS, YOU HEAR ME? NO RUNNING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET.

YOU GOT TO STAY WITH ME. – [whines] I DON’T CARE. YOU CAN CRY ALL YOU WANT. GUYS, [whistles] STAY ON THE SIDE, RIGHT NOW. STAY RIGHT THERE. – AUD! MILANIA! – I JUST SAID “STAY ON THE SIDE”! A CAR’S COMING. – ARE YOU CRAZY? IT’S NOT FUNNY. – THAT’S IT. ONE MORE TIME, WE’RE GOING BACK INSIDE. [Bleep]! MAN, THESE KIDS. I’LL THROW YOUSE RIGHT INTO THE LAGOON, I SWEAR TO GOD. – SHE’S DOING GOOD. – LIKE, HOW’S IT GOING WITH YOUR SISTER-IN-LAW? – GOOD. – ARE THEY WORKING ON THINGS? – YEAH, SHE’S BEEN HELPING HER, TEACHING HER HOW TO USE A COMPUTER AND TAKING HER TO A LIFE COACH WHO, LIKE, REALLY HELPED HER. – AND SHE LIKED IT? – YEAH, ALL THINGS THAT I WANTED HER TO DO. LIKE, I TELL HER, AND SHE’S LIKE, “GOD, MOM, DON’T TRY TO PUSH THAT ON ME.” AND THEN WHEN MARY ASKS HER TO DO IT, IT’S LIKE, “OKAY. OH, I LOVE IT!” – I SEE A VERY SWEET, HUMBLE GIRL IN JACQUELINE. AND I LIKE THAT, ‘CAUSE I’M THE SAME WAY.

BUT I DO KEEP HER AT AN ARM’S LENGTH, BECAUSE SHE’S TERESA’S FRIEND. – SO HOW HAS CAROLINE BEEN FEELING? – YOU KNOW, CAROLINE, SHE’S GONNA BE 50 THIS YEAR. AND THAT’S USUALLY AROUND THE AGE WHERE YOU KNOW, YOU COULD START GETTING SYMPTOMS. SOME GET IT EARLIER, SOME LATER. – EVERYBODY’S DIFFERENT. – IS IT USUALLY 50s? – YEAH, SOME HOT FLASHES. – IT DEPENDS. YEAH. – IT’S MENOPAUSE. – SHE DIDN’T TELL ME ABOUT IT, SO I DON’T KNOW. MAYBE THAT’S WHY SHE’S BEING LIKE THAT WITH ME–COLD– ‘CAUSE SHE’S GOING THROUGH MENOPAUSE. CAROLINE’S GOING THROUGH MENOPAUSE? THAT EXPLAINS WHY SHE’S BEEN SUCH A BITCH LATELY. – OKAY, GUYS, THE PIZZA’S HERE. LET’S ALL GO INSIDE. kids: PIZZA! – OH, MY GOD. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THESE KIDS. – I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. – ME TOO. – EW! – AUDRIANA, NO, NO, NO. – WHAT ARE YOU DOING, AUDRIANA? SHE’S RIPPING THE COUCH.

WHAT’S THE MATTER, BABY CAKES? OH, NO, SHE DOES. COME HERE, HONEY, COME HERE. HUG IT OUT. GIVE HER A BIG SQUEEZE. TIGHT, TIGHT, TIGHT. THAT’S IT, SEE? ALL BETTER. ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS GOT THIS HANDLED IN HERE? ‘CAUSE I’M GOING OUTSIDE. OH, MY GOD. [sighs] MMM. [lighter clicks] OH, GOD. – CAROLINE IS, LIKE, A NO-NONSENSE TYPE PERSON, ANYWAY. – LIKE, I FEEL LIKE HER TOLERANCE LEVEL IS, LIKE, REALLY SHORT. – IT COULD HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT. AND, LIKE, THINGS THAT BOTHER HER MAYBE ARE INTENSIFIED. – SO, ANYWAY, I GOT TO SAY, I NEVER GOT A BLACK EYE IN MY LIFE. [bleep] RICHIE GAVE ME ONE. – YOU KNOW, JOE, THE FIRST THING THAT YOU LEARN IN THE MARTIAL ARTS IS NEVER UNDERESTIMATE YOUR OPPONENT. – IT COULD HAVE BEEN EITHER ONE OF US. – I WISH IT WAS YOU! NOT MY HUSBAND. – HE DIDN’T EVER WANT TO HURT HIM OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. – BUT IT’S NOT– KATH, IF YOUR HUSBAND HAD A BLACK-AND-BLUE EYE, I’M SURE YOU WOULDN’T HAVE LIKED IT.

– OF COURSE, I WOULDN’T HAVE LIKED IT. – IT’S OVER. SO COULD WE NOT BRING IT UP AGAIN, AND TALK ABOUT SOMETHING HAPPY? – I WAS GONNA PUNCH YOU IN THE EYE. – ME? – TERESA, GIVE MY HUSBAND A BLACK EYE SO THAT EVERYBODY CAN GO HOME AND SLEEP GOOD TONIGHT. – YEAH. – IT’S LIKE FUNNY “LAUGH, HA, HA”– – BUT YOU KEEP GOING ON ABOUT IT, LIKE IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. – IT REALLY BOTHERED ME. – TERESA’S DEFINITELY MORE UPSET THAN JOE, BECAUSE SHE’S BEEN HEARING IT FOR TEN YEARS, THAT, “I’M THE BEST, I’M THE GREATEST, TRE.” HE BRAINWASHED HER. – WHAT ABOUT IF HIS EYE WOULD HAVE GOT POPPED OUT? REALLY! I WAS REALLY UPSET! – LEAVE IT ALONE! LEAVE IT ALONE. – COMING UP NEXT… – SHE’S WILLING TO DESTROY A FAMILY… TO GET YOU OUT OF HER LIFE. – I HAVE TO HELP? – NO, YOU DON’T HAVE TO IF YOU DON’T WANT TO. – WHAT IS THIS STUFFING? – IT’S BREAD STUFFING. AND I’M GONNA MAKE SOME VEGETABLES. AND I’M GONNA MAKE MYSELF A PLAIN, BORING GRILLED CHICKEN.

– LAUREN, I THINK IT’S VERY NICE THAT YOU AND VITO ARE COOKING. – HANDSOME COUPLE TOO. – YEAH. – AUSTIN! – I HAVE TO SAY THAT IF THEY HAVE BOYS AND YOU TWO HAVE BOYS, THE CHANCES OF THEIR BOYS KICKING THE [bleep] OUT OF YOUR BOYS IS VERY GOOD. THEY’RE GONNA BE SOME BIG-ASS KIDS. – IS THAT A JOKE OR ARE YOU SERIOUS? – WHAT KIND OF THING IS THAT TO SAY? WHAT ARE THEY GONNA BE? BEASTS? – I’M USED TO PEOPLE SAYING TERRIBLE THINGS ABOUT ME AND VITO’S WEIGHT, SO IT’S OKAY. – YOU COULD HAVE A BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE AND BE EMPTY ON THE INSIDE. LAUREN’S BEAUTIFUL. BUT I’M NOT GONNA LIE AND SAY SHE’S PERFECT. SHE’S NOT. SHE’S GOT TO LOSE WEIGHT. – THEIR KIDS ARE GONNA LOOK LIKE LITTLE KOALA BEARS THAT CAN’T CONTROL THEIR ARMS AND BREATHE HEAVY. [laughter] – SEE, THAT WASN’T FUNNY. I’D RATHER HAVE UGLY KIDS THAN DOUCHE-Y KIDS LIKE YOURS WILL BE. I’VE STRUGGLED WITH MY WEIGHT MY ENTIRE LIFE. WHEN I’M AROUND MY BROTHERS, I FEEL LIKE I KIND OF SHUT DOWN, BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I’M NOT AS GOOD AS THEY ARE. I JUST HATE– I HATE THE WAY I LOOK.

EVERYTHING VITO LIKES IN A GIRL, I AM NOT. HE LIKES OLDER WOMEN, HE LIKES TALL WOMEN WITH ATHLETIC BODIES– THE TYPE OF GIRLS THAT YOU SEE DOWN THE SHORE. LIKE, WE’RE DOWN THE SHORE, AND HE’S LIKE– HE’S ALWAYS LOOKING. – YOU’RE ALLOWED TO LOOK, VITO. – YOU’RE ALLOWED TO LOOK. I REALLY DON’T CARE. – YOU KNOW WHAT I’D LIKE? I’D LIKE A DAME. – NOT GONNA FIND A ROSE IN AN ONION PATCH. – I HEARD THERE’S A GIRL YOU’RE PRETTY INTO RIGHT NOW. – ACTUALLY, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I MET A NICE YOUNG LADY. – WHAT’S HER NAME? HER NAME’S LINDSAY. – I GIVE YOU LINDSAY. – LET ME SEE. – [laughs] – LINDSAY IS BEAUTIFUL. – MAYBE SHE HAS SOME FRIENDS. FOR YOU. – [laughs] – BETWEEN MY MOM’S MENOPAUSE AND LAUREN’S WEIGHT PROBLEM, I MEAN, I’LL BE HONEST, THOSE ARE TWO ALPHA BITCHES RIGHT THERE. THEY AIN’T MESSING AROUND. – BEAUTIFUL. – SHE’S SKINNY, AND IT MAKES ME VERY INSECURE.

– LAUREN, CHILL. – [laughs] – THIS IS THE CUTEST PICTURE. AFTER ALL THIS SENSELESS FIGHTING, ALL THE NONSENSE, LOOK AT YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS ARE ALL TOGETHER. YOU GUYS LOOK ADORABLE… – BEAR TO THE LEFT A LITTLE BIT. – AS A FAMILY– SHUT UP, JOE! – I GOT TO NAVIGATE. – BUT I’M– I’M BEING SENTIMENTAL HERE. – YOU’RE GOOD RIGHT THERE. – [clears throat] I’M TRYING. – JACQUELINE IS A BIG BUFFER BETWEEN KATHY, TERESA, AND I. SHE WANTS EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY. AND THAT’S A GOOD TRAIT THAT SHE HAS. BUT SOMETIMES I THINK JACQUELINE MIGHT FEEL THE PRESSURES OF BEING TERESA’S FRIEND. – ROSIE’S PROBABLY HALF A GALLON DOWN BY NOW. – OH, MY GOD, SHE’S GONNA BUST THAT THING. SHE’S DOING–WHOOPS. GIA, YOU GOT TO GET HER UNDER CONTROL. – WHAT ARE YOU DOING? – SHE’S– – GET OFF OF THAT, RIGHT NOW! [both laughing] – I’M GONNA TAKE YOU UP ON THAT DRINK NOW.

OH, MY GOD. I NEED THIS NOW. AFTER THE CLOSET THING, I SAID, “THAT’S IT. I’M SPENT.” – ALL THOSE GIRLS ON THAT BOAT? – YEAH. – THEY OWE ME. – HI, GUYS. – ROSIE! – OH, I MISSED MY BOY. – TELL THE TRUTH, HOW WERE THEY? – A LITTLE CRAZY– YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?– WITH ALL OF THEM TOGETHER. I WAS, LIKE, FREAKING OUT. I LOVE THE KIDS, DON’T GET ME WRONG. BUT WE NEED SERIOUS SCOTCH TONIGHT. SERIOUS SCOTCH. [door shuts] – HELLO. – ANYONE READY FOR THE SOLSTICE? – THAT’S CUTE. – YEAH? – YES. – I INVITED EVERYONE TO A SOLSTICE PARTY, COURTESY OF TIA. – HAVE YOU BEEN TO TERESA’S HOUSE RECENTLY? – MM-HMM. – WHAT’S GOING ON WITH HER FAMILY? ‘CAUSE THERE’S STILL AN UNSETTLING NOTE THAT’S NEVER BEEN COMPLETELY IRONED OUT. – TIA IS VERY INTUITIVE. HER SOLSTICE PARTY’S ABOUT RIDDING OF BAD ENERGY IN YOUR LIFE. – DID MELISSA CALL? – I SAID JUST TO COME BY HERE, AND THEN WE’LL JUST ALL GO TOGETHER. THANK YOU.

– YOU’RE WELCOME. DID YOU HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND? – WE JUST WENT FOR THE EVENING. WE WERE ON THE BOAT. – MM-HMM. WHAT ELSE? – UM, WE TALKED ABOUT YOU A LITTLE BIT. – ME? WHY? [Austin growls] WHY ARE YOU RUNNING? – [laughs] JUST, LIKE, UM, IT COULD BE THE START OF MENOPAUSE. – [laughs] LISTEN, I’M ALLOWED TO HAVE A BAD DAY NOW AND AGAIN. MAYBE I’M JUST TIRED OF ALL THE NONSENSE, AND I’M A BITCH. [doorbell chimes] HELLO, LOOK AT THIS ONE. – [laughs] HOW ARE YOU? – [laughs] GOOD. – THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME RUN OVER LAST-MINUTE. – NO PROBLEM. JACQUELINE WAS JUST TELLING ME ABOUT THE WEEKEND. IT WAS ALL RIGHT OR NO? – UM, YOU KNOW WHAT? THE KIDS HAD A REALLY GOOD TIME. BUT LAST WEEK, A LITTLE SOMETHING HAPPENED WITH TERESA AND MY HUSBAND. SHE TOLD YOU THAT HER AND HER BROTHER HAD A TALK ON THE BEACH. – YEAH, SHE TOLD ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT IT.

– YOU KNOW, HE HAD READ THAT MAGAZINE ARTICLE THAT’S OUT EVERYWHERE. – BUT WHAT DID IT SAY? – SOMETHING ABOUT HIM, YOU KNOW, GOING TO JAIL, AND, YOU KNOW, HER LIFE WITHOUT HIM, AND SO THAT HIT HOME FOR HIM. HE GOT LIKE, “OH, MY GOD, I GOT TO TALK TO MY SISTER.” SO THEN, WHEN HE WAS TALKING TO HIS SISTER ABOUT IT, I THINK THAT’S WHEN IT KIND OF GOT BAD. BECAUSE HE BROUGHT UP, YOU KNOW, SHE TOLD YOU– DID SHE TELL YOU WHAT SHE CALLED HIM AND SAID? – YEAH, SHE TOLD ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT IT. – WHAT? I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT. – OH, SO YOU DIDN’T TELL CAROLINE? – NO, I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING. I WASN’T DOWN AT THE SHORE. – SHE SAID TO HIM, “YOUR WIFE WOULD LEAVE YOU FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS MORE MONEY.” – UNPROVOKED? – COMPLETELY UNPROVOKED. RIGHT NOW, I’M GIVING TERESA A LOT OF PASSES. AND I DON’T KNOW IF IT’S RIGHT THAT I’M DOING THIS, OR IF IT’S JUST GONNA MAKE IT WORSE IN THE LONG RUN.

BUT THINGS ARE PROGRESSING. SO UNLESS THERE’S BLOOD DRIPPING DOWN MY FACE, YOU GET A PASS. – HEY, PRETTY GIRL. – YOU LOST WEIGHT, MISSY. – NOTICEABLY. – REALLY? – SHE LOOKS GOOD, RIGHT? – NOTICEABLY. – WE’RE GONNA BE LATE IF YOU GUYS DON’T WRAP THIS UP. – YOU KNOW, TERESA IS MY FRIEND AND I DO WANT TO HELP HER, BUT IF I TRY TO TELL HER WHERE I THINK, MAYBE, SHE HANDLED A SITUATION WRONG, OR WHATEVER, SHE THINKS I’M JUMPING SHIP AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I’M ON THE OTHER SIDE. AND IF IT BOTHERS HER THAT MUCH, I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO PULL BACK. – BUT THAT’S CALLED BULLYING. FOR SOMEONE THAT IS TRYING TO MEND A FENCE AND PUTS IT OUT THERE THAT SHE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HER FAMILY, TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO HER BROTHER IS VERY HURTFUL.

SHE’S WILLING TO DESTROY A FAMILY TO GET YOU OUT OF HER LIFE. – COMING UP NEXT… – YOU KNOW WHAT? NOW, I’M JUST LEAVING. I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK ABOUT IT. – I’M ANSWERING THE QUESTION. – I’M LEAVING, I’M LEAVING. – I’VE NEVER BEEN TO A–WHAT?–SOLIS– – IT’S A SOLSTICE PARTY. – OH, SOLSTICE. – IT’S THE FIRST DAY OF SUMMER. – AND WHAT’S THE DEAL? EVERYBODY’S WEARING WHITE TONIGHT? – EVERYONE’S WEARING WHITE, BECAUSE WE’RE ALL SO PURE. [laughs] – HOW ABOUT THAT? – SO HOW’S MISS TERESA? – UM, WELL, MY BROTHER– I CALLED HIM AND I SAID TO HIM, AS A SISTER, “SHE’S GETTING INTO THIS SINGING CAREER.” – RIGHT. – “SHE’S GOT TO GO TO CLUBS.

“HOW DO YOU KNOW, IF ANOTHER GUY COMES ALONG WITH MORE MONEY THAN YOU,” JUST SAY– – RIGHT. – “THAT SHE’S NOT GONNA GO WITH THAT PERSON?” – IT CAN HAPPEN. IT HAPPENS TO MEN ALL THE TIME. – YOU KNOW WHAT? MY BROTHER WORKS TOO HARD TO JUST, GOD FORBID, IF SOMETHING HAPPENED, TO JUST HAND IT AWAY. – I KNOW. – BUT THIS IS MY THING– MY BROTHER HAS SAID STUFF TO MY HUSBAND, YOU KNOW, ABOUT US. I’M LIKE, WHATEVER. – JUST MAKE LIGHT OF IT. YOU’RE GOOD AT THAT. – OKAY, OKAY. [flute music] ♪ ♪ THESE ARE BINDIS. EVERYBODY THAT COMES IN, YOU’RE GONNA SAY TO THEM, “WELCOME TO SUMMER SOLSTICE.” – MM-HMM. – GOT IT? “AND THIS IS TO OPEN UP YOUR THIRD-EYE CHAKRA.” WE’RE WISHING GOOD FOR THEM, OKAY? – HI, MAMA! – HI! THE FLOWERS LOOK SO PRETTY.

– THANK YOU. – WHY ARE WE PUTTING THIS ON? – IT’S TO OPEN YOUR THIRD EYE. – OH. OKAY. – UH-HUH. WE NEED A LITTLE OF THAT. – THEY GIVE US A THIRD EYE, AND I’M SURE IT DOES HAVE POWERS. I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT THE POWERS ARE. SOMETIMES IT’S BETTER NOT TO KNOW. BECAUSE I WENT TO A READING AT TIA’S AND SHE DID TELL ME THAT SOMEONE WAS GONNA DIE. AND THEN THERE WAS, LIKE, MONTHS LATER. BUT THEN, YOU KNOW, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, PEOPLE ALWAYS DIE. – LOOK AT THE FAIRIES. – LOOK HOW PRETTY! [laughs] – WELCOME TO SUMMER SOLSTICE THIS IS TO OPEN UP YOUR THIRD EYE. – OH, MY THIRD EYE. – YEAH. – I NEED ONE IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD. THANK YOU. – HI. – HI. – WHO ALL’S SITTING HERE? – WHO WANTS TO SIT NEXT TO ME? – YOU CAN SIT BY ME, MISS CAROLINE. – WHERE ARE YOU SITTING, HERE? – I’M SITTING RIGHT HERE NOW. – ALL RIGHTY. – YOU LOOK FABULOUS, MISS LAUREN. – THANK YOU. – THERE’S NOT ENOUGH SEATS FOR EVERYONE. – THERE’S NOT ENOUGH SEATS AT ONE TABLE.

BUT I LIKE THIS TABLE. YOU’LL NEVER ACCUSE ME OF BEING PHONY. I’M NOT GONNA INSULT YOU. I’M NOT GONNA FIGHT WITH YOU. BUT I’M NOT GONNA INTERACT WITH YOU. [flute music] – WHAT ARE WE IN FOR TONIGHT? [imitating Twilight Zone theme] ♪ DO DO DO DO DO DO ♪ – I DON’T KNOW. PRETTY COOL. OH, LOOK-IT, THEY HAVE FAIRIES. LOOK-IT. – OH, JEEZ. – THERE YOU GO. – THANKS. – HI, LADIES. – YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. – THANK YOU. YOU GUYS ALL LOOK SO PRETTY. – HOW ARE YOU? – HI, RO-RO. – HOW ARE YOU? – GOOD. – EVERY TIME I GO LIKE THIS THROUGH MY HAIR– – YOU FEEL LIKE, “OOH, WHAT’S THAT?” – I WENT LIKE THIS, TO WIPE THE SWEAT A LITTLE BIT… – I DON’T NEED ANOTHER FRICKING EYE. I SEE ENOUGH [bleep]. I DON’T NEED A THIRD EYE TO BRING ME MORE. – EXACTLY.

THAT’S WHAT I SAY. TRE, COME HERE A MINUTE. I WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING. – UH-UH. – BUT I DON’T WANT EVERYBODY ELSE TO HEAR IT. – OKAY. – SO, LISTEN. I HUNG OUT WITH, LIKE, YOUR BROTHER AND EVERYTHING. HE GOES, “MY SISTER KIND OF HURT MY FEELINGS.” YOU SAID TO HIM THAT, “THE ONLY REASON WHY MELISSA MARRIED YOU” IS FOR HIS MONEY. – NO, THAT’S NOT WHAT I SAID. – AND THAT “IF SOMEBODY ELSE COMES ALONG WITH MORE MONEY, SHE’S GONNA DUMP YOUR ASS.” – THAT’S WHAT I SAID. THIS WHOLE THING HAS GOTTEN BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION. IT WAS A CONVERSATION THAT WAS BETWEEN MY BROTHER AND I. NOT FOR ROSIE, NOT FOR MELISSA, FOR NO ONE. – YOU KNOW HOW THERE’S A LITTLE, TINY BIT OF FRICTION STILL. SO, YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO JUST TREAD EASY WITH EACH OTHER.

THAT’S ALL I’M TRYING TO SAY. – MELISSA, I WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOU’RE SINGING, LIKE, WHAT’S GOING ON. – IT’S ACTUALLY GOING REALLY, REALLY GOOD. UM, I’M WORKING ON A COUPLE NEW SONGS. – OKAY. AND JOE’S GOOD? HE’S GOOD, LIKE, HE’S GOOD WITH IT? – YEAH, JOE’S GOOD. – DOES HE COME IN AND LISTEN? LIKE, WHAT DOES HE DO? – YEAH, HE DOES. – LIKE, AS AN OLDER SISTER, I WAS TRYING TO, LIKE, JUST OPEN HIS EYES A LITTLE BIT, JUST IN CASE THEY’RE CLOSED. – I DON’T EVEN THINK SHE LOOKS AT OTHER MEN. YOUR BROTHER’S SO GOOD. – I THINK MAYBE SHE’LL NEVER FIND ANOTHER GUY LIKE MY BROTHER. – SHE KNOWS THAT. – WELL, I HOPE SO. – SHE DOES, BELIEVE ME. – NOT YET. – KEEPING AN EYE? – YEP. I THINK THEY’RE JUST TALKING. BUT SHE HAS THE TENDENCY TO STICK HER HANDS IN SOMEBODY’S FACE WHEN SHE’S TALKING. SHE SHOULD KEEP THAT IN CHECK WITH ROSIE. – JUST LIKE HE TALKS TO ME AND GIVES ME HIS OPINION, I WAS GIVING HIM MINE. – WELL, MAYBE EVERYBODY SHOULD SHUT UP.

– WHO’S GOT SOMETHING ON THEIR MIND? – SHE’S UPSET WITH TERESA. SO THEN YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE AMENDS WITH YOUR BROTHER, BUT THEN YOUR BROTHER WAS REALLY UPSET BY THE COMMENT YOU MADE. OH, SO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT? I FEEL REALLY BAD FOR HER WITH EVERYTHING THAT SHE’S GOING THROUGH. BUT IF TERESA REALLY WANTS FOR ALL OF US TO GET ALONG, THROWING DIGS LIKE THIS ISN’T GONNA HELP. IT MAKES YOU QUESTION WHAT SHE REALLY WANTS. – THANK YOU. – ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, DOLL. DON’T WORRY. ALL RIGHT, HONEY. – HEY, RO. – I DON’T KNOW. MY HEAD IS NOW STARTING TO HURT, ‘CAUSE I’M, LIKE– – I KNOW. – SHE WAS, LIKE, GIVING HIM SISTERLY ADVICE. I SAID, “BUT WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?” LIKE SHE’S TRYING TO INSINUATE. DON’T INSINUATE THAT [bleep]. WHATEVER. SO JUST LET IT GO. – SAW HER TALKING TO YOU. I DIDN’T KNOW IF YOU GUYS WERE GOOD OR WHAT WAS GOING ON. – NO, NO, IT WAS GOOD. ME AND MY BROTHER HAD A CONVERSATION ON THE BEACH.

SO HE TOLD ROSIE THAT IT BOTHERED HIM. – SO WHAT WAS YOUR INTENTION, TELLING HIM THAT? – A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE TELLING ME THINGS, AND, TO ME, I WOULDN’T FEEL LIKE I’M HIS SISTER IF THIS WAS BOTHERING ME. I DIDN’T EXPECT HIM TO BLURB IT OUT TO THE WHOLE WORLD. LIKE, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? LIKE WHAT’S HE TRYING TO DO? MAKE ME LOOK BAD? YOU KNOW, HE TOLD ROSIE, HE TOLD HIS WIFE. I’M SURE KATHY KNOWS NOW. DID MELISSA TELL YOU AND CAROLINE? HELLO? – TERESA… IF YOU WANT ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS, YOU NEED TO TALK– – WELL, DID MELISSA TELL YOU? I’M–YO. WHAT’S THE MATTER? YOU’RE MY FRIEND AND YOU CAN’T EVEN GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER. YOU’VE KNOWN ME HOW MANY YEARS? AND IT’S THAT HARD FOR YOU TO SPELL IT OUT? – YES! WE TALKED ABOUT IT.

– THANK YOU. – [bleep], GO TALK TO HER. – THAT’S ALL I WANTED TO HEAR. THAT’S ALL I WANTED TO HEAR. I’VE HAD MY FRIEND HOW MANY YEARS? HOW MANY YEARS? HOW MANY YEARS? HOW MANY YEARS? – MELISSA! – ALL RIGHT, SO YOU GUYS TALK IT OUT. OH, MY GOD, [indistinct]. – I THINK THAT TERESA NEEDS TO TALK TO MELISSA HERSELF, INSTEAD OF PUTTING ME IN THE MIDDLE. I’M NOT YOUR SOLDIER, AND I’M NOT A GROUPIE. I’M YOUR FRIEND. WILL YOU GO TALK TO TERESA? SHE WANTS TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU. – WHO, TERESA? – YEAH. – I GOT TO PUT MY SHOES ON. I TOOK MY SHOES OFF. – SORRY. – WHAT, YOUR FEET HURT? OH, THEY’RE– – I TOOK MY SHOE OFF, ‘CAUSE IT’S KILLING ME. – NO, I JUST GOT PRESSURED INTO SAYING THAT WE TALKED ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO KNOW DID WE OR NOT TALK ABOUT THE SITUATION.

LIKE, I BASICALLY SAID IT WITHOUT SAYING IT. BUT SHE WANTED TO HEAR ME SAY, “YES, WE TALKED ABOUT IT.” – SO I SAID, “FINE. YES, WE TALKED ABOUT IT.” – SO NOW YOU FEEL BADLY. – YEAH. – BULLY, BULLY, BULLY. – THE SOLSTICE PARTY IS TURNING INTO THIS ONE BIG GAME OF TELEPHONE. I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT POSITIVE ENERGY. I MEAN, WE HAVE FAIRIES, FOR GOD’S SAKE. – WHAT DID JOEY SAY TO YOU? – WHAT DO YOU MEAN? ABOUT WHAT? – WE WERE ON THE BEACH. HE SAID TO ME, “I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I’M THERE FOR YOU IF, GOD FORBID, ANYTHING HAPPENS.” WHICH I’M LIKE, “OKAY.” YOU KNOW, BECAUSE MY HUSBAND WAS UPSET WITH HIM THAT, YOU KNOW, WHEN HE WENT AWAY– WHATEVER–THAT WEEK, WHEN HE CAME HOME, HE’S LIKE, “DID YOUR BROTHER EVEN CALL YOU?” AND I SAID, “NO.” – DO YOU KNOW WHY HE DIDN’T CALL YOU? – NO. – BECAUSE WHEN HE CALLED YOU ABOUT THE AUCTION AND ABOUT THE BANKRUPTCY, YOU DENIED IT AND YOU TOLD HIM– – I DIDN’T DENY IT. I JUST SAID, “EVERYTHING’S FINE.” – AND WHEN HE TALKED TO YOU ABOUT GOING TO JAIL WITH THE D.

U.I.– – NO, DON’T TALK– – YOU SAID, “NO, HE DIDN’T GO.” – YOU KNOW WHAT? NOW I’M JUST LEAVING. I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK ABOUT IT. – I’M ANSWERING YOUR QUESTION. – I’M LEAVING, I’M LEAVING, I’M LEAVING, I’M LEAVING. BYE, GUYS. TAKE CARE. – FOR SOME REASON, TERESA RESPONDS SO NEGATIVELY TO THE WORD “JAIL.” SHE LIKES TO SAY “GOING AWAY.” GOING AWAY, GOING TO JAIL. YOU SAY TOMATO, I SAY TO-MAH-TO. I MEAN, WE’RE BOTH GROWN WOMEN. THERE’S NO CHILDREN SITTING NEXT TO US. AM I MISSING SOMETHING? – WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. – TERESA! – WAIT A MINUTE. – WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? – WHAT DID YOU– – SHE ASKED ME A QUESTION. I ANSWERED HER. – I DON’T WANT YOU TO LEAVE MY PARTY.

– NO, I’M LEAVING. GET OFF. – CAN I SPEAK TO YOU A MINUTE? – DO NOT PULL MY ARM. – PLEASE, TERESA, TALK TO ME. – DO NOT PULL MY ARM. – DON’T TOUCH HER. – WHEN MELISSA SAID “JAIL,” UGH, I FLIPPED OUT. [bleep] HER. IT’S NONE OF HER BUSINESS. I HAD ENOUGH. I’M BEING BOMBARDED. I JUST WANT TO GO HOME. COMING UP NEXT… GOOD-BYE, GOOD-BYE. – THAT’S HOW YOU ARE. RUN AWAY, COWARD, LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO. – EXCUSE ME? – WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO SOMETHING? – WHO ARE YOU? – I AM JOLINE. – HI, JOLINE, I’M ROSIE. – HI, ROSIE. WHAT’S UP? – TERESA’S COUSIN, JOEY’S COUSIN. SO WE’RE JUST HAVING A FAMILY TALK HERE, AND THEN SOME STRANGER– I DON’T KNOW. – NO, MY NAME’S JOLINE. YOU WANT ME TO WRITE IT DOWN FOR YOU? – STOP GETTING SNOTTY WITH ME. – I’M NOT GETTING SNOTTY WITH YOU. I’M NOT A SNOTTY PERSON. – LET ME WALK AWAY RIGHT NOW. – NO. WHAT’S HER NAME? – WANT ME TO WRITE IT DOWN FOR YOU? – ROSIE DOESN’T JOKE.

SHE DOESN’T REALLY HAVE ANY TOLERANCE FOR AIR-HEADS. – WE ARE FROM THE SAME, LIKE– – SAME WHAT? – KINSHIP. – KINSHIP. – OKAY, ALL RIGHT, GOOD. THANK YOU. – TERESA. – WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. – I HAD ENOUGH. I’M BEING BOMBARDED. I JUST WANT TO GO HOME. – WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT? – SHE’S ASKING ME POINT-BLANK IF WE TALKED ABOUT IT TODAY. AND I KEPT SAYING, “GO ASK MELISSA IF WE DID.” – OKAY, SO SHE JUST SAID THAT HER BROTHER DIDN’T SUPPORT HER WHEN HER HUSBAND WENT TO JAIL. AND I SAID, “HE DIDN’T CALL YOU, “BECAUSE WHEN HE DID CALL YOU ABOUT THE OTHER THINGS “THAT WERE GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE, YOU WERE INSULTED, “YOU GOT UPSET, YOU DIDN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. “SO AT THAT PARTICULAR TIME, HE DIDN’T CALL YOU.” – [sighs] – AND SHE GOT UP AND WALKED AWAY. – [sighs] TERESA! WHERE IS SHE? – WAIT A MINUTE, LET’S HELP HER BACK OUT.

THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SPIRITUAL PARTY. NOBODY’S SUPPOSED TO BE ATTACKING ANYBODY, HONEY. – NO, LISTEN, I WANT HER TO GO. – TERESA. – SHE’S GOT TO GO. – SEE, NOW I FEEL LIKE THIS IS MY FAULT NOW. ‘CAUSE I WAS PUT ON THE SPOT. – IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. WE BOTH– – “DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT? DID YOU? DID YOU NOT?” AND I’M A BAD FRIEND IF I SAY NO. – SHE BROUGHT SOMETHING ELSE UP. – SO I SAY YES, AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS. – OKAY. – I THOUGHT SHE WANTED TO APOLOGIZE TO HER ABOUT WHAT SHE SAID, AND THIS IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED TO HAPPEN. I DON’T WANT TO LIE TO YOU. – THEN DON’T. – BUT THEN IT’S LIKE– – YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIE. – I HAVE TO TELL HER, OR ELSE I’M A BAD FRIEND IF I DON’T TELL YOU. – NO, I TOLD YOU. – BUT THEN, IF I TELL YOU– – DON’T CRY, DON’T CRY. – I’M NOT FIGHTING WITH HER.

– WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU CALL THAT, STORMING OUT? – OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. – I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. – I SAID, “WHEN JOE WENT TO JAIL THAT TIME FOR HIS D.U.I.”– AND SHE JUMPED UP AND RAN OUT. – BUT THAT’S WHAT SHE WAS REFERENCING. – I DON’T KNOW. OKAY, SO SHE SAYS, “GOING AWAY,” AND I SAID THE WORD “JAIL.” I’M SORRY, I DON’T KNOW. IS THERE A DIFFERENCE? – I THINK THAT, IN JERSEY, WE SAY “GOING AWAY” INSTEAD OF “GOING TO PRISON” BECAUSE IT’S OLD-SCHOOL. IT’S A MATTER OF, LIKE, PRIDE AND TRYING TO PROTECT YOUR FAMILY. IT’S A JERSEY THING. HMPH. I DO FEEL BAD AT WHAT SHE’S GOING THROUGH TOO. I CAN’T HELP IT, ‘CAUSE I DON’T WANT TO SEE ANYONE GO THROUGH STUFF LIKE THIS.

– I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE DOESN’T JUST FINISH THE CONVERSATION LIKE A GROWN ADULT. WHY DID SHE HAVE TO GET UP AND WALK AWAY? – IF YOU’RE GONNA SAY ANYTHING SHE DOESN’T WANT TO HEAR, YOU HAVE TO SUCK ON HER [bleep] FIRST AND THEN SHE’LL LISTEN TO WHAT IT IS. – SO THEN GO. – WE’RE TRYING TO MEND THINGS. SO HE’S CAUSING MORE PROBLEMS. – YOU’RE CAUSING PROBLEMS BY TELLING HIM. – NO, NO, NO. – THEN HE’S CAUSING IT– – NO, I’M NOT! – JACQUELINE, PEOPLE TELL THEIR BROTHERS AND THEIR SISTERS THINGS THAT THEY DON’T WANT OTHER PEOPLE TO KNOW. – MY BROTHER TOLD ME THINGS ABOUT MY HUSBAND. “AND LET ME TELL MY SISTER WHAT YOU’VE BEEN DOING.” AND I READ HIS PHONE. AND THEN MY HUSBAND SAID, “YOUR SISTER JUST READ MY PHONE.

” AND HE WAS SO UPSET. HE SAID, [bleep]. HE’S LIKE, “I DIDN’T MEAN FOR HER TO READ IT.” – OH, OH, OH, SO OH… – I REMEMBER MY BROTHER TEXTING MY HUSBAND, SAYING THAT JOE WAS CHEATING ON ME. I MEAN, I SAW IT. I SAW IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES. – IF SHE’S THINKING THAT JOE IS CHEATING, SHE WOULD NEVER COME OUT AND SAY THAT. BUT SHE WANTS TO MAKE HER BROTHER FEEL THAT MELISSA COULD BE CHEATING. SHE TURNED THE TABLES TO TAKE THE FOCUS OFF OF HER. – SO IF I FEEL SOMETHING, IF I HEAR– I’M JUST GONNA NOT SAY ANYTHING. I HOPE YOU– – ARE YOU GONNA BE OFFENDED IF I DO THE SAME THING? – SHE STARTED TELLING ME– YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID, “YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT,” YOU KNOW? – IT’S SO HARD FOR JACQUELINE.

NO, THAT’S HARD. – JACQUELINE FEELS LIKE SHE’S IN THE MIDDLE, BECAUSE SHE PUTS HERSELF IN THE MIDDLE. LIKE, WITH DANIELLE, SHE STILL STAYED DANIELLE’S FRIEND EVEN THOUGH CAROLINE AND DINA DIDN’T LIKE IT. IT’S VERY WISHY-WASHY. IT’S LIKE, “COMMIT.” IF SHE TALKED ABOUT IT WITH YOU, OBVIOUSLY YOU’RE GONNA TELL ME, ‘CAUSE YOU’RE MY FRIEND. IF YOU DON’T TELL ME, THAT’S A PROBLEM THEN. – I’M JUST GONNA GO CHECK AND SEE WHAT THE DEAL IS. I’M GONNA TRY TO CALM HER DOWN. – NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. THINGS ARE SO FRAGILE NOW WITH ALL OF YOU, FOR YOU TO GO INTO THAT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA. – OKAY. – BUT I HOPE THAT SHE’S NOT RIPPING JACQUELINE APART. – JACQUELINE CAN HANDLE HERSELF. I FEEL BADLY FOR JACQUELINE, BECAUSE SHE IS IN THE MIDDLE AND ULTIMATELY I THINK SHE’S GONNA FEEL THE BURN OF TERESA. – WELL, OBVIOUSLY, LOOK, SHE DOESN’T GIVE A [bleep]. SHE DIDN’T EVEN COME.

SO SHE DON’T GIVE TWO [bleep]. – DO YOU WANT ME TO GET HER AND BRING HER HERE? – SHE’S NOT GONNA COME NEAR YOU IF YOU GO BACK IN THERE. – OKAY, THEN YOU SAY, “I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT ANY LEGAL ISSUES NOW. I’M ADDRESSING WHAT I SAID TO MY BROTHER.” – OKAY, SO CAN YOU GO– CAN YOU GO GET HER? – OKAY. – SHE GOES, “AS AN OLDER SISTER, I WAS TRYING TO GIVE HIM ADVICE.” – ‘CAUSE SHE FEELS THAT WAY? – SHE JUST SAID– – WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? LIKE YOU COME OVER TO TELL ME TO GO TALK TO HER. – SHE HAS AN EXPLANATION OF WHY SHE SAID WHAT SHE SAID TO YOUR BROTHER. SHE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW AND TELL YOU. WILL YOU HEAR HER OUT? AND NOT BRING UP ANY LEGAL ISSUES? ‘CAUSE THAT’S A VERY SENSITIVE SUBJECT TO HER RIGHT NOW.

– THIS IS GONNA TURN INTO A BATTLE. – I KNOW IN MY HEART I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING. SHE’S NOT GETTING AN APOLOGY FROM ME. – IF SHE’S GONNA CAUSE A BIG SCENE LIKE THIS, LET ME VENT ABOUT WHAT’S REALLY BOTHERING ME. I MEAN, WHAT THE HELL, NOW. OBVIOUSLY, SHE’S NOT LOOKING FOR PEACE. – DO NOT TALK ABOUT LEGAL CASES. THAT’S NOT WHAT I WAS TALKING TO YOU ABOUT. – YOU BROUGHT THE LEGAL CASE UP. – NO. I JUST SAID– – YOU WERE MAD THAT JOEY DIDN’T CALL WHEN JOE WAS WHERE? – AWAY. – OKAY, I USED A DIFFERENT WORD. WAS THAT THE PROBLEM? – THIS IS WHAT I’M TELLING YOU. LISTEN. I DON’T WANT TO FIGHT WITH YOU. I’M LETTING YOU KNOW. I WAS TALKING TO MY BROTHER IN CONFIDENCE. AM I SAYING THE RIGHT–WAIT.

CON–WHAT’S THE WORD? CONFIDENCE? I’M LIKE–WHAT’S THE WORD? – TERESA, WHATEVER. YOU WERE TALKING TO JOE. – I WAS TALKING TO MY BROTHER AND I SAID TO HIM, “PEOPLE HAVE BEEN TELLING ME “‘YOUR SISTER-IN-LAW’S STARTING A SINGING CAREER NOW. WITH THREE KIDS, MARRIED, SHE’S GONNA START GOING TO CLUBS.'” THEY’RE LIKE–THEY KNOW THAT JOEY IS A JEALOUS TYPE. THEY’RE LIKE, “SOMETIMES THAT CAN RUIN A MARRIAGE.” YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT COULD HAPPEN. I’M NOT SAYING YOU’RE GONNA DO THAT. – TERESA, HONEY, LISTEN TO ME. – I WAS TELLING MY BROTHER– – I HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO YOUR BROTHER FOR SEVEN YEARS. – YEAH, SO? – I HAVE NEVER MOVED ON HIM. HE HAS NEVER MOVED ON ME. LISTEN TO ME. I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT IF MY MUSIC CAREER TAKES OFF, I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. I HAVE THREE BOOKINGS THIS MONTH, RIGHT? – GOOD FOR YOU. GOD BLESS. – JOEY’S COMING WITH ME.

– GOOD. – WE GO TOGETHER. – GOD BLESS. JUST IN CASE– – PLEASE DON’T “JUST IN CASE” MY HUSBAND ANYMORE, OKAY? – MY HUSBAND– – DON’T “JUST IN CASE.” – THIS IS SOMETHING I WAS FEELING. IT WAS BROTHER TO SISTER. – THAT WAS WHAT YOU WERE FEELING? YOU WERE FEELING THAT I MIGHT DO THAT? IS THAT HOW YOU FEEL? – YEAH. PEOPLE WERE TELLING ME. THAT’S HOW I WAS– – PEOPLE ARE TELLING YOU. – YEAH, PEOPLE WERE TELLING– – THAT WHAT? MELISSA’S GONNA START SINGING– – LIKE, “SHE HAS THREE KIDS, SHE’S MARRIED. WHY IS SHE DOING THIS NOW?” – WHY ARE YOU BELITTLING IT? WHY ARE YOU SAYING IT LIKE THAT? – MELISSA, I’M EXPLAINING TO YOU. I’M NOT BELITTLING IT. WOMEN COULD CHEAT, MEN COULD CHEAT. – WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT CHEATING? HAS ANYONE EVER CHEATED ON ANYONE? YOU’RE OUT EVERY NIGHT AT COOKBOOK SIGNINGS. – I’M NOT OUT EVERY NIGHT. – A LOT.

DOES THAT MEAN YOU’RE GONNA CHEAT ON YOUR HUSBAND? I MEAN IS THAT WHAT– – NO, BUT MY BROTHER OBVIOUSLY TOLD MY HUSBAND HE WAS CHEATING ON ME. I’M LIKE, “OH, REALLY.” HE’S TOLD ME MANY THINGS ABOUT MY HUSBAND. – DID I GO RUNNING BACK AND TELL MY HUSBAND? NO. BECAUSE IF I DID, MY HUSBAND WOULD BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR, AND IT WOULDN’T BE PRETTY. – OKAY. ‘CAUSE YOU GUYS ARE TOUGH GUYS, I KNOW. BUT I’M JUST SAYING– – ALL RIGHT, WHATEVER. – WHATEVER. I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO SAY. – IT’S OKAY FOR JOEY TO DO IT, BUT IT’S NOT OKAY FOR ME, WHEN I SAY [bleep] ABOUT YOU. THAT’S WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY. – WE DON’T EVEN DISCUSS YOU OR YOUR HUSBAND. WHEN I SIT HOME AT NIGHT, I DON’T WORRY ABOUT “HMM, WHEN TERESA’S OUT AT A BOOK SIGNING, MAYBE SHE’S GONNA CHEAT ON JOE.” NO. I DON’T THINK ABOUT THAT.

WHY ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT THAT? ARE YOU, LIKE, OKAY? – I’M NOT– – DO YOU HAVE SOME ISSUES WITH ME THAT YOU WANT TO HASH OUT? – NO, NO. – WELL, THEN LEAVE ME ALONE. – OKAY. – TERESA, YOU CALLED YOUR BROTHER AND SAID, “YOUR WIFE WOULD LEAVE YOU”– – IS HE INSECURE? – YOU DON’T NEED TO BE INSECURE! – THAT IS CRUEL. – IS HE INSECURE? – NO, HE’S NOT INSECURE! – SO THEN WHAT’S THE PROBLEM? – IF HE WAS INSECURE, HE WOULD HAVE CAME HOME AND SAID, “MELISSA, WHY IS MY SIS–” HE CAME HOME AND CRIED. – CRIED? – YEAH, CRIED. THAT’S DEVASTATING. YOU’RE HIS ONLY SISTER. DON’T YOU THINK YOU CAN BE SOME OF THIS PROBLEM HERE? – TO ME, MY BROTHER HAS NOTHING TO CRY ABOUT.

THEN SOMETHING IS DEFINITELY WRONG IN THEIR MARRIAGE, FOR HIM TO REACT THAT WAY. – I COULD WALK AWAY FROM THIS FRIENDSHIP, AND I DON’T WALK AWAY FROM FRIENDSHIPS EASILY. – YOU KNOW, THE SAD PART IS YOU THINK THAT SHE’S STARTING TO PROGRESS, LIKE CERTAIN THINGS HAPPEN– – THERE’S NO RESPECT HERE. SHE’LL STEP ON ANYBODY’S HEAD– ANYBODY’S HEAD– TO GET WHERE SHE’S GOT TO GO AND DO WHAT SHE’S GOT TO DO. – DO YOU KNOW HOW HANDSOME YOUR BROTHER IS? DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF MAN YOUR BROTHER IS? – I DON’T THINK YOU COULD EVEN DO BETTER THAN MY BROTHER. – YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. – MY BROTHER’S AMAZING. – I COULD NEVER GET BETTER THAN YOUR BROTHER. – YOU’RE RIGHT. – NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS. I’M LUCKY TO HAVE YOUR BROTHER. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? – YOU’RE VERY LUCKY TO HAVE MY BROTHER. – ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, AND HE’S JUST AS LUCKY TO HAVE ME. BECAUSE I’M A GOOD WIFE, I’M AN EXCELLENT MOTHER, AND I’M EVERYTHING HE’S EVER WANTED.

– SO START SHOWING IT. – AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN SAY OR DO TO BREAK THAT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? THOSE ARE THREE [bleep] CHILDREN. THOSE ARE YOUR NIECES AND NEPHEWS. DO YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR BROTHER GET A DIVORCE? – NO. – THEN DON’T EVER SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN. – BRING THE FAMILY TOGETHER THEN. BRING THE FAMILY TOGETHER. – YOU BRING THE FAMILY TOGETHER, “MISS MATRIARCH,” ‘CAUSE YOU’RE DOING A REALLY GOOD JOB. – I’M TRYING. MY BROTHER– I SAY SOMETHING TO HIM, HE BLABBERS IT TO YOU. IT’S LIKE, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? – WHAT DO YOU THINK? YOU WANT TO DO THESE THINGS. YOU WANT TO PINCH PEOPLE, RIGHT? – MY BROTHER PINCHES RIGHT BACK. – WHEN THEY TELL ON YOU, YOU WANT TO SAY, “IT WASN’T ME. I DIDN’T DO IT. I DIDN’T DO IT!” NO, YOU DID DO IT! SO DON’T BE A COWARD. STAND YOUR GROUND. BE THE TOUGH GIRL THAT YOU CLAIM TO BE. – I AM, I AM.

– APOLOGIZE TO ME. APOLOGIZE TO ME FOR SAYING THAT. – DON’T TELL ME TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU LIKE THAT. – NO, APOLOGIZE TO ME! BECAUSE THAT’S MY HUSBAND! – YEAH, SO WHAT? DON’T EVEN GO THERE, BITCH. – DO YOU FEEL THAT THIS DOESN’T OWE AN APOLOGY? IS THAT HOW YOU FEEL? – WELL, I’M TELLING YOU, DON’T SAY, LIKE, “YOU OWE ME AN APOLOGY.” – YOU DO OWE ME AN APOLOGY. – YOU GUYS CAN’T TAKE THE TRUTH. – WE CAN TAKE THE TRUTH! – NO, YOU CAN’T! HE STARTED CRYING? – WHAT IF HE CAME HOME, WE HAD A BIG ARGUMENT– – HE SHOULD BE CONFIDENT. – “HE SHOULD BE CONFIDENT.” THAT’S YOUR ANSWER? – YES, IF YOU’RE EVERYTHING THAT HE SAYS YOU ARE, BE CONFIDENT. – I’M TRYING TO FIND ANYTHING THAT’S LOGICAL IN WHAT SHE’S SAYING, BUT I CAN’T FIND ONE THING.

DON’T YOU EVER GET IN BETWEEN MY MARRIAGE. – TELL YOU HUSBAND NEVER TO GET IN BETWEEN MY MARRIAGE EITHER. – TELL YOUR BROTHER YOURSELF. THAT’S YOUR BROTHER. I DON’T WANT TO BE IN BETWEEN. – SO YOU TELL HIM. BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY ME AND HIM, WE DON’T TALK ANYMORE, SINCE YOU CAME IN THE MIDDLE. WHATEVER I TELL YOU, YOU TWIST IT AROUND AND TELL MY BROTHER YOUR SIDE, NOT MY SIDE. – REALLY? ‘CAUSE YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU DO? YOU CALL ME UP, YOU SAY NASTY THINGS TO ME– – YOU NEVER SAY NASTY THINGS? – YOU INSULT MY CHILDREN, YOU INSULT ME, AND THEN YOU DON’T WANT ME TO TELL ON YOU. – YOU BRING MY KIDS GIFTS TO PRESCHOOL, YOU DROP ‘EM OFF, INSTEAD OF DROPPING THEM OFF AT MY HOUSE. – IT’S BETTER THAN THE NO GIFTS THAT YOU GIVE MY KIDS. JOEY’S FIRST BIRTHDAY WAS THREE MONTHS AGO. WHERE’S HIS BIRTHDAY PRESENT? AND YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT GIFTS? WHAT, DID YOU FORGET? IT’S OKAY.

– WE WEREN’T TALKING THEN. – OH, WE WEREN’T TALKING. SO THAT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOUR NEPHEW? – WHY DO YOU ALWAYS WORRY ABOUT GIFTS, MELISSA? – OH, YOU BROUGHT UP THE GIFTS! I DIDN’T BRING UP THE GIFTS. – YOU DROPPED THE GIFTS OFF AT PRESCHOOL. – WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH YOU NOT GIVING YOUR NEPHEW A FIRST-BIRTHDAY GIFT? – MY HUSBAND TAKES THE GIFTS AND THROWS IT IN THE GARBAGE. – OH, REALLY? DON’T BEAT AROUND THE BUSH. – I’M NOT BEATING AROUND THE BUSH. LIKE, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ALWAYS GOT TO TALK ABOUT MATERIALISTIC THINGS, LIKE, FIRST OF ALL, YOU NEVER HAD A PARTY. YOU NEVER INVITED ME OVER FOR CAKE. OF COURSE, I WANT TO GIVE MY NEPHEW A GIFT. FOR HER TO BRING THAT UP, IT JUST SHOWS ME WHAT TYPE OF PERSON SHE IS.

YOU KNOW, MELISSA, TALKING TO YOU IS LIKE– – DON’T THROW– – TALKING TO YOU, IS LIKE TALKING TO THIS HARD BRICK WALL. – NO, TERESA. YOU HAVE IT VERY CONFUSED. – GOOD-BYE, GOOD-BYE. – THAT’S HOW YOU ARE. – OUT OF MY–GET OUT OF HERE. – RUN AWAY, COWARD, LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO WHEN YOU’RE WRONG. – EXCUSE ME. – YES. – WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO SOMETHING? – GOOD-BYE. OUT OF MY–GET OUT OF HERE. – RUN AWAY, COWARD, LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO WHEN YOU’RE WRONG. – EXCUSE ME. – YES– – WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO SOMETHING? GET OUT OF MY FACE, OKAY? – I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THAT, BECAUSE THAT’LL GO DOWN IN HISTORY. – OH, REALLY, REALLY. – I’LL JUST STAND HERE AND LET YOU DO IT. – BELIEVE ME, I WOULDN’T EVEN WASTE MY BREATH. – WELL, THEN, GET IN YOUR CAR AND GO. – NO. DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. I WILL LEAVE WH– – TERESA, EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID RIGHT HERE– – YES? – IS WRONG. – ALL RIGHT, KIM, YOU HEARD.

– LOOK AT ME, I WILL– – KIM’S HERE. – KIM, CAN YOU SEE YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS, PLEASE? THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND MY SISTER-IN-LAW! – I JUST WANT HER TO LEAVE BEFORE ANYTHING BAD HAPPENS. – YOU DON’T GET TO HAVE PEOPLE COME IN. THIS IS JUST ME AND YOU, HONEY. – OH, BECAUSE SHE’S BEEN LISTENING. – I DON’T CARE IF SHE’S BEEN LISTENING. – THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND YOU. – OBVIOUSLY, YOU ONLY SEE YOUR WAY. YOU DON’T SEE THE OTHER WAY. – TERESA, LOOK AT ME. GO HOME. I’M GONNA GO HOME. – YOU HAVE TWO SONS. – YOU’RE THE AUNT. YOU’RE THE AUNT OF MY SONS, THEREFORE, I’M GONNA WALK AWAY. – YOU HAVE TWO SONS. REMEMBER THAT. – I’M READY TO GO. DO YOU GUYS MIND? I-I NEED TO GO. THAT WAS GOOD.

I FEEL LIKE I– IT’S SAD. IT’S REALLY SAD. SO LET’S JUST GO. – YOU CAN ONLY BE THE PUNCHING BAG FOR SO LONG. MELISSA AND JOE MAY HAVE TO MAKE THE DECISION TO WALK AWAY FROM TERESA, FOR THEIR OWN FAMILY SECURITY. – YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO SAY– – “I WANT AN APOLOGY, RIGHT NOW!” – OH, COME ON. – ARE YOU KIDDING ME? – THIS WASN’T SUPPOSED TO GET BACK TO HER. – LIKE, OKAY. THIS WHOLE FIGHT WAS RIDICULOUS. AND WHO IS IT CAUSED BY? MY BROTHER. THANK YOU, JOEY. I LOVE YOU. MWAH! MWAH! MWAH! MWAH! – SORRY, TIA. – I FEEL SO BAD. both: DON’T FEEL BAD. – I DO. THIS ISN’T WHAT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TONIGHT TO DO. – I KNOW. I WOULD’VE LIKED TO SEE ALL YOUR– – WE WERE ALL SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY. – YOU KNOW WHAT? IT’S UNFORTUNATE, BUT THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE THAT JUST CAN’T SEE THE LIGHT. – YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO? I’D [bleep] BLOW RIGHT PAST THEM.

– WHY DID HE TELL HER? HE’S CAUSING PROBLEMS. LIKE, WHY’S HE DOING THIS? – I GUESS HE TELLS HIS WIFE EVERYTHING. – YEAH, WHY? – WELL, ‘CAUSE IT’S HIS WIFE. – WHO GIVES A [bleep]? – YOU CAN’T TELL ME TO TELL YOUR BROTHER SOMETHING. YOU GOT TO TELL HIM. YOU GOT TO TELL HIM. STOP TWISTING EVERYTHING AROUND. JUST GET IT STRAIGHT, THAT’S ALL. – SHE GOT IT STRAIGHT. – THAT’S WHAT I MEAN. – YOU GUYS GOT TO TALK IT OUT. – I’M DONE, I’M DONE. I’M NOT TELLING YOUR BROTHER ANYTHING. YOU TELL YOUR BROTHER. IT’S YOUR BROTHER. I DON’T WANT– – IS HE HOME? – I HAVE NO IDEA. – OH, YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE YOUR HUSBAND IS. – NO.

HE’S PROBABLY CHEATING ON ME. – OKAY, MAYBE HE’S OUT WITH MY HUSBAND, CHEATING. MAYBE. OKAY. – [scoffs] YOU ARE MAKING THIS SO EMBARR– WHY DON’T YOU JUST PULL AWAY? YOU’RE SO EMBARRASSING. – STUPID. – THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING. – STOP TALKING. YOU’RE LOWERING YOURSELF. STOP TALKING. – IT’S LIKE TALKING TO A WALL. – NEXT TIME ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY… – IS THIS THE BITCH MAGNET? – I THINK SO. – I THINK BITCHES ARE GONNA LOVE THE [bleep]. – OH, MY GOD. MONEY, MONEY, MONEY. – I DIDN’T MISS YOU AT FIRST, BUT I’M STARTING TO MISS YOU NOW. – YOU DON’T MISS ME. YOU’RE LYING RIGHT NOW. – SHE’S LIKE… LIKE THIS, LIKE THIS. LIKE SO MEAN. LIKE, “I WANT AN APOLOGY RIGHT NOW!” – WHO THE HELL DOES SHE THINK SHE IS? – NO ONE IS GOING TO COME IN BETWEEN MY MARRIAGE.

– YOU’RE MY FRIEND. YOU HAVE LOYALTY TO ME. – AND MY SISTER-IN-LAW. – DINA SUPPOS-ABLY TOLD TERESA THAT CAROLINE WANTED TO SABOTAGE HER. – IT’S LIKE I LOST MY BROTHER. – I GUARANTEE YOU, TERESA’S NOT GOING TO BE HAPPY UNTIL SHE SEES DIVORCE PAPERS BETWEEN THOSE TWO. – [bleep] YOU, BITCH. – TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE REAL HOUSEWIVES, GO TO BRAVOTV.COM..

You may also like